I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
