I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
