No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
