Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
