And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just blew my weed a kiss
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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