just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
