I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
