Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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