Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
