There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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