im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
