farters have to be the big spoon...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
