Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
