it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When are your genitals available?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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