My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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