Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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