Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
