It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
