$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
