I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
