Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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