Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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