As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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