I want to have your abortion
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
