Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's official drugs can't kill me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
