I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
