omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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