New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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