Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
