The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
