Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
