Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
