ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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