dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
