I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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