I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
