You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
