I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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