I should be sponsored by Trojan
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it's great music for shaving your balls
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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