dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
