If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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