Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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