dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He felt like a one man threesome
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
