My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
