I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You took a bar mat shot.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
