Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
