I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
