Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
