pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
worst night to have a conscience
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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