stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
