if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i think i just lost a toe
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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