so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
