He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
