that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
