no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
