maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
