clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
