Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
